“New year, new me,” I say, laughing to my friends. Suddenly, I throw my arms out, golden light erupting from my hands and face. I scream in agony as every single cell in my body is rewritten, atom by atom. Abruptly, the light show ends and I drop my arms, coughing out a golden trail of residual energy. I am completely made new.
I am a Time Lord.
I’ve got new kidneys.